The new ‘diverse’ emojis don’t go far enough. We demand redheads, afros and beards

We all basically communicate in hieroglyphs now, so news that Apple is road-testing a range of new emoji characters is a big deal. “The limits of my language are the limits of my world,” as Wittgenstein put it, meaning our world has been limited to creepy ballerina twins and smiling turds for a while.

The new range, included in the next update, is a response to criticisms over lack of diversity – particularly ethnic. Current emoji users wanting to move beyond the default white characters can choose between an Indian sporting a turban (or possibly head injury) and a Chinese man in a skullcap, both of whom look more like Indiana Jones sidekicks than accurate racial representations. Some users have resorted to using the dark moon emoji as an alt black face. Creative, but not ideal.

Hurrah then, for skin-tone modifiers! The broader palette is based on the Fitzpatrick scale of colour, created by a Harvard dermatologist. There are five new skins, from dark brown at one end to Berocca-lemon at the other, which we can only pray isn’t meant to represent an Inuk, or anyone outside Springfield.

Other new emojis include families with same-sex parents, who look as unhappy as any nuclear family.

These laudable additions bring a tear to the eye, whether that eye is blue or brown or yellow like hepatitis. But do they go far enough? There are notable absences – redheads continue to be denied a place at the emoji table. Men with beards, likewise. There are no afro emojis.

If we want cartoon pixels to speak for us, must they not speak the whole truth?

One day – we have a dream – there will be an emoji for everyone. Hipster on a fixie emoji. Maverick politician emoji. Benedict Cumberbatch emoji, emo emoji. Where are the women with beards? The emoji for when you’re only eating because you’re bored? The “looking at your partner and seeing a stranger” emoji? We must push further.

But before those identifications can begin, we all need to be in the room. These new faces we will hold in our hands are another step toward inclusiveness.

Ideally there’ll be some sort of ramification in political representation, and equality of pay. Maybe that’s in the update after the next one.